Our words, whether spoken or thought, have power

The Four Agreements (Number 1) - don Miguel Ruiz 

Be impeccable with your word.

"Your words constitute the power you have to create. Words are the most powerful tool you have as a human being, the instrument of magic. Depending on how you use them, words can free you or enslave you, even more than you think they can. This includes the words you say to others and your internal dialogue. Impeccable means without sin. Always give words of encouragement, love and hope and be vigilant of what you say to yourself and others.  Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others." - don Miguel Ruiz

The Power of Now

Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.

~ Buddha ~

I think I came across this quote today because I needed it. Some days I am pretty good about staying in the moment.  Other days, like today, it was a struggle. This quote is what Eckhart Tolle is all about - staying in the moment - the Power of Now.  If you haven't read that book, I highly recommend it.  (Actually I'm a bigger fan of "Practicing the Power of Now.)  I have read and reread this book and it is going to be a lifetime goal to live it.

I think I am making progress though.  I realized that I was struggling a lot today because I was resisting the thing(s) that were stressing me out.  According to Tolle, acceptance is a big part of living a life free of stress.  I wasn't totally able to "accept" the things that were stressing me out, but the mere fact that I was able to reach this understanding was helpful.

Now acceptance to me does not mean that it's okay or that you are happy about it.  Acceptance is the acknowledgment that it is - without judgment.  I try to live a "judgment free" life but it is really hard to do. 

The first two points in the Buddha's quote are a waste of time.  All we ever have is "now" so we might as well make the most of it. 

Take Control!

Remember that any time you're filled with resentment, you're turning the controls of your emotional life over to others to manipulate. 

~ Dr. Wayne W. Dyer ~

Unfortunately, there are people in this world that try to make your life more difficult. Maybe they are jealous or have a different personality than you. Don't let these people get you down. Leave them to themselves and focus your attention to the people who "do" love you and want the best for you. Focus on what you can control - and that is yourself and your actions. And make sure your actions are in line with your higher self. It is really easy to be dragged down by others. Don't give them that power.

Relax

Your weakness is God’s opportunity to show His power! He is not surprised by them and actually knew all about them before you did. So you can relax and enjoy your day while God continues working in you. 

~ Joyce Meyers ~

It's so nice to know that we don't have to stress out about trying to be perfect. We need to remind ourselves that we weren't created that way. And I also think we need to remind ourselves that God knows that.  He sees our struggles and already knows what we are going to do.  

It's so nice to know that, regardless, God continues to work through us, even when we are not at our best.  We can continue to strive to be our best but the pressure is off.  Nice. 

You "can" change!

“A belief is only a thought you continue to think. A belief is nothing more than a chronic pattern of thought, and you have the ability - if you try even a little bit - to begin a new pattern, to tell a new story, to achieve a different vibration, to change your point of attraction.” 

~ Abraham-Hicks ~

One of the beautiful things about being human is our ability to change.  Why is it that some people think that if things have always been this way, they will always be this way?  It doesn't have to be.  

I think all of us have things about ourselves that we'd like to change.  Maybe we don't try because we don't think we'll be successful.  But I believe that we can achieve anything that we want to - if we want it bad enough.  

Be patient though.  Change does not happen overnight and you might not see the change for a while.  But don't quit!  You'll get there in time.

Created from the same dust . . .

After the game,
the king and the pawn go into the same box. 

~ Italian Proverb ~

Isn't that the truth.  We may have different roles to play in life, but in the end, we are all equal.  

This reminds me of a quote from Baha'u'llah:

O CHILDREN OF MEN!

 

Know ye not why We created you all from the same dust?  That no one should exalt himself over the other. Ponder at all times in your hearts how ye were created. Since We have created you all from one same substance it is incumbent on you to be even as one soul, to walk with the same feet, eat with the same mouth and dwell in the same land, that from your inmost being, by your deeds and actions, the signs of oneness and the essence of detachment may be made manifest. Such is My counsel to you, O concourse of light!  Heed ye this counsel that ye may obtain the fruit of holiness from the tree of wondrous glory.

Live your life!

Regardless of the outcome it was still a choice you made. Live without regret, and know that our past is what made us who we are!

When I look back at my life, I wish I could get a few "do overs".  But my husband has always reminded me that everything that happened in my past has helped to make me the person I am today.  Thanks sweetie!

Oprah Winfrey says, "When you know better, you do better." You are the sum total of all your actions and choices so far.  You can't go back and redo anything but you can change your future if you want to.

Keep looking ahead!

“Nobody gets to live life backward. Look ahead, that is where your future lies.”

~ Ann Landers ~

I just went to my 35th high school reunion last week.  So this quote jumped out at me. It was great to see many old faces; some haven't changed at all - others were only recognizable by the name tag they wore!  

It caused me to think about where I was thirty five years ago.  Fresh out of high school and right into a new marriage.  My husband and I (yes, the same guy!) were reminiscing about how different we were back then and how we have changed.  Thirty five years of raising two daughters, going through several job changes and all the ups and downs that inevitably come with a long-term relationship.

Reunions are great.  It's nice to look back once in a while.  Just don't stay there!

Love being you!

“Why compare yourself with others? 

No one in the entire world can do a better job of being you than you.” 

~ Unknown ~

You are unique!  Don't change!  You have all the characteristics that you need in this life and to get through your life.

I was in a course a few years ago and the professor was talking about "negative" traits.  My comment to her was that I think we have to be careful about labeling behavior as "good" or "bad".  For example, stubbornness. At first blush, this might be considered a negative trait.  My younger brother was very stubborn and let me tell you - he could be such a pain when he was a kid!  But, when he was 26 years old, he was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer and given one year to live.  He lived 13 years.  And I think part of the reason that he lived so long was because he was stubborn!  He beat all the odds.  When a doctor told him that after an operation he would never walk again, he walked!  He was so determined.  So, in this case, I think he was endowed with "stubbornness" because he was going to need it later in life.

Now don't get me wrong. I am not saying that children should be allowed to be belligerent and left unchecked. Not at all.  Children need constant love and guidance.  But if your child has a trait that you're not thrilled with, try to get them to channel that trait in a positive way. They may need it one day.

Dream!

Scientifically a bee is too fat to fly.  It's not aerodynamic enough and it's wings are too short.  But why does it still fly you ask?   Because nobody told him he couldn't!
~ Author unknown ~

What are your dreams?  What things do you want to do but people say it can't be done?  

You never know what you can accomplish until you try.  If you have a goal, start taking the steps to implement it. But be flexible enough to know when to change direction if necessary.

In my mid-30's, I decided I was going to pursue my childhood dream of becoming an elementary school teacher.  So I enrolled in college.  I had to go part-time and it would take me 10 years but I enrolled anyway.  There were some people that were discouraging.  "It's going to take you 10 years?  Wow, that's a long time."  My thought was in 10 years I would be 45 and I could either be 45 with a degree or without it.

I got my degree but I am not an elementary school teacher.  More than half way through my studies, I got an amazing job.  So I changed my major.  I entered school with one intention and ended up with something different.  But it's all good!  I wasn't rigid in my thinking and ended up with what I needed.

We never know what opportunities that are going to come our way.  If you have a dream or a goal, go for it!  No matter what happens, you'll end up where you're supposed to be!

Love, compassion and tolerance

Anger cannot be overcome by anger. If someone is angry with you, and you show anger in return, the result is a disaster. On the other hand, if you control your anger and show its opposite – love, compassion, tolerance and patience – not only will you remain peaceful, but the other person's anger will also diminish. 

~ Dalai Lama ~  

Baha'u'llah said, "All men have been created to carry forward an ever-advancing civilization. The Almighty beareth Me witness: To act like the beasts of the field is unworthy of man. Those virtues that befit his dignity are forbearance, mercy, compassion and loving-kindness towards all the peoples and kindreds of the earth."

Decision . . . let go . . .

“If you want to reach a state of bliss, then go beyond your ego and the internal dialogue. Make a decision to relinquish the need to control, the need to be approved, and the need to judge. Those are the three things the ego is doing all the time. It's very important to be aware of them every time they come up.”

 ~ Deepak Chopra ~ 

This is such a beautiful reminder of the importance of being mindful. I don't know about you, but I think it can be easy to go through the day as if you're on autopilot.

  I like this quote because it reminds me that I need to "make a decision" about what to do when my ego wants to take over.  I have found that when I start my day with prayer and meditation, I usually have a pretty good day.  When I stray away from this practice, I can get caught up in a lot of "stuff" I usually try to stay away from.  And the longer I stay away from this practice, the more weighed down I feel.  

Thanks, Deepak, for my marching orders today!

The choice is yours to make

“I discovered I always have choices and sometimes it's only a choice of attitude."

~ Abraham Lincoln ~

I am thinking of a friend today whose parents are moving out of state.  She is pretty depressed about it.  It reminded me of the time when my Mom moved away when my first child was just six months old.  I was very close to my Mother and I was devastated.  I was depressed for several months.  Over time I began to feel better but it was tough because I really needed her, especially with my new daughter. 

It would have been better for me to change how I was feeling about the situation.  Instead of focusing on the loss of her living near me, I should have been grateful that she was still around.  I spent a lot of time with feelings that didn't help the situation.  Did our relationship change?  Of course it did.  I couldn't just pick up the phone and make plans to have lunch with her.  I couldn't just hang out with her.  She moved far enough away that it required a plane trip and funds were tight so we didn't get to see each other a lot.  The phone was our only way to connect.

Any change is loss so you have to go through the grieving process. But try to get through it as quickly as possible. If I had it to do over again, I would try to get to a place of gratefulness sooner.  Rather than focusing on the loss, I would focus on being grateful that she was still around, that I could call her if I needed advice.  Nothing good comes out of pining away for someone or being resentful that they aren't easily accessible to you.  Or any other host of negative feelings you can have about the situation, including feeling sorry for yourself. It robs you of precious moments and opportunities to stay connected.

Make the best out of the situation. Accept it as soon as possible. Use technology like Facebook or better yet Skype so you can stay connected.  Put as many systems in place so that you won't feel so separated. 

You have many choices to make.  Try to make the choices that will keep you in a positive place.

Knowing when to adjust

“When you can’t change the direction of the wind – adjust your sails.”

~ H. Jackson Brown ~

My brother Larry was diagnosed with brain cancer when he was 26 (in 1989).  My baby brother Danny was diagnosed with AIDS when he was 26 (in 1993). Larry was given one year to live but lived for 13 years.  Danny lived for 2 years after he was diagnosed.

Did they have to adjust their sails?  Yes they did!!  What amazes me the most of my two younger brothers is that they came to a point of acceptance soon after their diagnosis.  Did they have to go through depression to get there?  I am sure they did.  But they didn't dwell on the past or their illness.  They continued to live their lives in spite of it - inspiring everyone who crossed their path.  

My brothers have been my greatest example of what to do when you can't change the direction of the wind.  Whatever challenges you are going through right now, don't let it leave you sitting idly in the water.  Chart a new course, adjust those sails and head for your new horizon.

It's history. Leave it there!

“We are all here for some special reason. Stop being a prisoner of your past. Become the architect of your future.” 

~ Robin Sharma ~

It is said that you can't teach an old dog new tricks.  I don't believe it.  The great thing about being human is that we always have the ability to change. We don't have to be stuck in the past and allow previous actions or behavior define us.  We can reinvent ourselves at any time.  And I think we need to.  Let's face it - nothing remains the same.  As I type this, cells in  my body are dying and new ones are being made.  Life is in a constant state of change. 

Whatever happened in the past, leave it there.  When my daughter was in high school, she hated her history classes.  We had a discussion about that one day and she said to me, "It's history.  Leave it there!"  She is quite a character.  When it comes to life, that's the attitude we need to have.  It's history.  Leave it there!  Maybe you had a difficult childhood.  Maybe you've made some mistakes along the way (I don't know many people who haven't).  Whatever it is, leave it and move forward. 

Don't give in to feelings of "I'm like this because . . . ".

 

No matter where you've been or what your life experience has been so far, you can have a different future.  How awesome is that?!

Time to "unstick"!

"You are not stuck where you are unless you decide to be." 

~ Wayne Dyer ~ 

 

Good morning!  This quote resonated with me today because I have definitely been stuck!  I can't believe it's been two months since my last post.  I don't know what happened.  I just found myself in a rut and couldn't get myself out of it.  Or at least I felt that way.  I'm not sure why I felt that way.  Has that ever happened to you?  You are just going along, feeling fine, and all of a sudden you feel like you're swimming in molasses.  

 

But I am going to make a choice today to "unstick" myself!! If you've been in a funk, I hope you'll join me!

Man plans - God laughs!

Even when you think you have your life all mapped out, things happen that shape your destiny in ways you might never have imagined. [Deepak Chopra]

When I was a kid, I wanted to be a school teacher. Then life happened and I ended working in various offices gaining administrative experience. In my mid-30's, I decided to pursue my goal to teach and entered college for the first time. I knew it would take me 10 years to get my degree (going part-time) but I didn't care. Then, about half way through my studies, I accepted a position to run a non-profit trade association as executive director. And my life has never been the same since. I ended up loving this position and decided to change my major to English Literature and Critical Writing. My advisor said this was a better degree for business.  I ultimately got my degree and am still working for the association thirteen years later. 

When you make your life plans, I think it's important to be flexible. You never know what opportunities will arise that will require a shift in direction. My degree has served me well. It is funny how things worked out. I went to school to become a teacher but ended up an executive director. You just never know!

Go with the flow

"Don't try to steer the river." [Deepak Chopra]

I used to be a very controlling person and I didn't even fully realized it. I still am a bit controlling.  I find it difficult to completely let go. But I have learned that even though I thought I was in control, I really wasn't. Most of the frustrations in my life were the times when things weren't going the way I wanted. As I mature, I realize that it is better to just go with the flow. When I can accept whatever is going on in the moment, I am happier. I don't have to be happy about what's going on. I just have to accept it.

I believe that everything happens for a reason. So if things aren't going the way I want, I've come to believe that it's for the best. Everything that happens is always for the best. Even the difficult stuff.  

Embracing the present

"Nothing ever happened in the past that can prevent you from being present now, and if the past can't prevent you from being present now, what power does it have?"

[Eckhart Tolle] 

Why is it that we give the past so much importance? But we do it all the time, don't we? Have you ever heard someone say, "well, it's always been that way and it's not going to change", or something to that effect. Or the person who says, "I'm like this because such and such happened to me in my childhood." It is so easy to become a victim to our past. But we don't have to be. At any point, we can detach ourselves from our past and embrace the present. We can create the life that we want - a life that has no connection or attachment to the past.

It has taken me years to understand this. Mind you, I'm not perfect. But I have learned to push those negative voices out of my head. Those voices that say, "remember this" or "remember that". I am learning to let go of any negative experience I've had that has held me down or held be back. It's an on-going process but very worthwhile.

Being strong and courageous

"Any time your mind or anyone tells you "What if you fail?" Answer back, "What if I succeed?" If it says, "What if you breakdown?" Respond, "What if I breakthrough?" Let no one talk you out of your dreams and aspiration. Be strong and be courageous."  

[From Positive Digest]  

When I was in my mid-30's, I wasn't happy in my job and decided to pursue my dream of becoming an elementary school teacher. I had no college credits and after consulting with the head of the education department, I knew that it would take me 10 years to get my bachelor's degree if I went to college part time. I made the decision to do it anyway.  

One of my acquaintances was surprised that I was going to do this.  He said, "How long is this going to take you?  10 years?" He didn't say anything else but I knew what he was getting at.  I responded, "The way I look at it is that I am 35 years old right now. In 10 years, I can be 45 years old with a degree or without it."  

Well, I have that degree (and graduated magna cum laude) and it took me 10 years. Was it difficult? You bet it was. There were many times I wanted to quit. But I am really happy I didn't.  

I ended up not going into teaching because an amazing job came my way that I love even more. But who knows  - I may teach in the future. And if I make that decision, I'll have the education and the degree to do it.

So don't let anyone try to discourage you from your dreams, no matter how long it may take. You won't regret it.