True independence

‎"What other people think of me is none of my business. One of the highest places you can get to is being independent of the good opinions of other people." 

~ Dr. Wayne Dyer ~

What a freeing statement! I don't know about you, but I have spent the greater part of my life worrying about what other people were thinking about me. As I have gotten older though (and hopefully a bit wiser), the opinions of others has had less influence on me. People are going to think what they're going to think. It is too much of an interruption of your life to be wondering (or worrying) what other people are thinking about you. So just live your life!

Cliffs of Moher, Doolin, Ireland

I just got back from a trip to Ireland with my eldest daughter. We were fortunate to see many beautiful sights. One of them was the Cliffs of Moher in Doolin.  Here is a short video from that trip. Nature has such a calming effect on the soul. It felt like a holy place and it was hard to leave. I hope to be able to go back someday. If you have been there, I would love to hear from you.

Gaining strength

‎"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must do the thing you think you cannot do." 

~ Eleanor Roosevelt ~

We are stronger than we think. Sometimes we can be weighed down by our troubles and just when we think we can't take anymore, that's the point it all changes. 

I was viewed as the strong one in my family. I guess that comes with being the eldest. There was a period of time where I felt like the rock. But there were periods where I felt like I wasn't. Weighed down by test after test to the point I thought I would break. They say that what doesn't break you makes you stronger. It took me a while to believe that, but it's true. I think that all growth comes through pain. It's like building muscle. You have to go through the pain that follows lifting weights in order for the muscle to grow. 

Our tests are like stepping stones to help us reach our true potential. 

Explore. Dream. Discover.

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor. 

Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”

~Mark Twain ~

I will be exploring and discovering Ireland for the next week. Tomorrow, my daughter Jaimie and I will head to Dublin, Ireland and will be traveling around the country. This is our first trip and we are really looking forward to it. So a little break from blogging unless I discover some down time. You never know! I hope you have a wonderful week.

"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened." ~ Dr. Seuss ~

Six months after my first daughter was born in 1977, my mother moved to Florida (from Massachusetts).  I was devastated because we were very close. It was quite an adjustment for me and I was depressed for a while. After several years, she was able to start making an annual trip up to Massachusetts to see me. I really looked forward to those visits but they were spoiled because a few days before she would be heading back to Florida, I would start to get emotional about her leaving. Instead of staying in the moment and being happy for every minute I was with her, I would get weepy and lost out on enjoying those last days with her.  I did this for many years.

Then one year I decided that I needed to stop doing this. I was losing precious time with her because I wasn't staying in the moment.  I decided not to think about her leaving until THE DAY that she was leaving. And then, instead of crying because I knew I was going to miss her, I hugged her and was happy for having had that time with her. 

I am really glad that I came to this realization because she passed away a few years later and I was grateful that I learned to stay in the moment and really be with her.  We might miss people, things, or events when they are over but instead of crying, it is better to be happy and grateful for those moments and hope for more!  

Live, learn, and get on with it!

"Get the lesson so you can move on." No matter how terrible an experience has been, acknowledge that it has contained a life lesson. Each experience has made you who you are today and who you will be tomorrow. 

Move on!" 

~ Author Unknown ~

Life's lessons can slow us down or stop us in our tracks if we let them. I think that as humans we were created to make mistakes. We know we are imperfect beings and yet we can be hard on ourselves if we've made a mistake or not acted in accordance with our authentic self. I used to beat myself up when I did something wrong. I was really critical of myself (Type A personality - comes with the territory!). As I've gotten older, I've learned to lighten up on myself. I finally reached a point that I had to accept that as much as I wanted to be, I was not perfect. The good news was that neither was anyone around me! Once I accepted that making mistakes was part of the journey, it took some of the pressure off.

I still analyze myself though. If I've acted in a certain way that I wasn't happy about (or reacted for that matter), I try to examine the situation so I can improve on it in the future. Why did I react that way? What was the trigger? How can I change my reaction if it happens in the future?

I don't know about you but my lessons keep coming back to me until I get it right. Have you noticed that? So now I pay more attention!

The Cross Room

The young man was at the end of his rope. Seeing no way out, he dropped to his knees in prayer. "Lord, I can't go on," he said. "I have too heavy a cross to bear." The Lord replied, "My son, if you can't bear its weight, just place your cross inside this room. Then, open that other door, and pick out any cross you wish."

The man was filled with relief. "Thank you, Lord," he sighed, and he did as he was told. Upon entering the other door, he saw many crosses, some so large the tops were not visible. Then he spotted a tiny cross leaning against a far wall. "I'd like that one, Lord," he whispered. And the Lord replied, "My son, that is the cross you just brought in."

I came across this poem many years ago and it stayed with me. It was a good reminder that no matter how bad I thought I had it, someone had it worse. Sometimes that thought is the only way you can make it through the day.  And I think that's okay.

Don't worry - it's a waste of time!

I have known a great many troubles, 
but most of them never happened.

~ Mark Twain ~

Worry is one of the most useless emotions. How many times have you worried about something that never happened? And how many times have things happened to you that you could not have imagined would happen? If something is going to happen, it's going to happen.  And if it does, you'll have to deal with it. So why worry about something that most likely will not happen? How much of life are you missing out on because you are so focused on the thing you're worried about?

So what are you supposed to do if you're not worrying? Live your life!!  Be happy!!  There is a time for everything. If it's not a time to be sad, don't be sad. Stay in the moment. I love what Eckhart Tolle says about this. He says that everything that happens in the future, happens in the now. So anything you're worrying about will happen in the now (if it's going to happen).  So, what's going on in your life now? Is it the thing you're worrying about? If it isn't happening now, let it go and enjoy what is going on now. Enjoy watching the sunrise, the beauty of a sunset, or the sounds of a little baby. And stop worrying!!

Reading = transformation

"You will be transformed by what you read." 

~ Deepak Chopra ~

Isn't this the truth! I love reading and sharing things that have inspired me. There have been several books that have had an influence on my life, in addition to my faith. 

Here are a few:  The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success (Deepak Chopra), The Power of Intention (Wayne Dyer), The Secret (Rhonda Byrne), The Power of Now (Eckhart Tolle), The Hidden Words (Baha'u'llah).  

What books have inspired you?  I would love to add to my collection!

Do you feel like you're being pruned?

God does not offer us a way out of the testings of life. He offers 

us a way through, and that makes all the difference.

~ W.T. Purkizer ~

This is such an awesome quote and so true.  There is just no way of getting through this life without getting tests. Some tests are more manageable, some almost unbearable. It's those really tough tests that teach us the most and even if you believe this, it is still really difficult to accept.

A few quotes come to mind on this topic that I would like to share.

O Son of Man! My calamity is My providence, outwardly it is fire and vengeance, but inwardly it is light and mercy. (The Hidden Words of Baha'u'llah, #51 from the Arabic)

Tests can feel like fire and vengeance. We can question God. Why is this happening? Did I do something wrong? Am I being punished? I believe that God loves us more than we love ourselves and that everything that happens in our lives is for the best. 

Tests are benefits from God, for which we should thank Him. Grief and sorrow do not come to us by chance, they are sent to us by the Divine Mercy for our own perfecting. While a man is happy he may forget his God; but when grief comes and sorrows overwhelm him, then will he remember his Father who is in Heaven, and who is able to deliver him from his humiliations. Men who suffer not, attain no perfection. The plant most pruned by the gardeners is that one which, when the summer comes, will have the most beautiful blossoms and the most abundant fruit. The labourer cuts up the earth with his plough, and from that earth comes the rich and plentiful harvest. The more a man is chastened, the greater is the harvest of spiritual virtues shown forth by him. A soldier is no good General until he has been in the front of the fiercest battle and has received the deepest wounds. ('Abdu'l-Baha' - Paris Talks)

Men who suffer not, attain no perfection.  I love the analogy of pruning. As someone who has been "pruned a lot", I can tell you that it is painful. You might feel like you've been pruned to the "roots" and that nothing will grow. But believe me - you will grow.  You will be stronger. I didn't believe it could be possible, but it is.

If you are going through a difficult time right now, my thoughts and prayers are with you. Trust that God knows what He's doing and like the quote says, He'll offer a way through.

Video - How to live a better life!

My friend, Phil, sent me this video and I just have to share it!  I have added it to my video library (on left side of page).  


Check out his Facebook page, 2 Words: Become Better. It is full of motivational and inspirational messages. Become a fan!

Get rid of the drama!

"There comes a time in life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh, forget the negative, and focus on the positive. Love all people and pray for the ones who don't treat you right. Life is too short to be anything but happy. 

Falling down is a part of life, getting up is living." 

~ From Positive Thinking ~

Have you done this?  Walked away from the drama in your life?  I made a conscious decision to do this years ago and it was the best thing I ever did.  My life was full of drama.  Granted, some of it I created so the first thing I had to do was to stop my own drama.  Then the next step was separating myself from people who seemed to need drama in order to survive.  Do you know the type?  

When you're around someone who is fueled by drama, you know it because whenever you're in their presence, you feel drained.  This topic was discussed in The Celestine Prophesy.  If you haven't read this book, I encourage you to get it. It is really great.  It talks about "control dramas".  Here is the premise.

Everyone has energy and needs energy. You can get energy from one of two ways: from a higher source (God, Universe, etc.) or you can get it from other people. It is best to get energy from a higher source but if someone is not connected that way, they will "take" it from others. According to the Celestine Prophesy, there are four ways that others can steal your energy: intimidators steal energy from others by threat, interrogators steal it by judging and questioning, aloof people attract attention (and energy) to themselves by playing coy and poor me's make us feel guilty and responsible for them.  

What I liked about the book is that it told you how to protect your energy when you in the presence of these types of people. I have simply tried to love them (albeit from a distance) and to pray for them. Being a "work in progress", I am working on this.  (And, I loved the last sentence of the quote!)

If you have made a similar decision, I'd love to hear from you.  Have a great day!

Keep an eye out for those open doors

"When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us."  

- Helen Keller

This quote from Helen Keller really resonated with me. The closed door could be so many things: the loss of a loved one, divorce, loss of a job, etc.  It can paralyzed us.  I think this is normal but it is very important to know when it's time to let go of that door.  

If you think about it, life is a constant series of doors closing and others opening up. We need to learn that once a door closes, it's not the end of the world even if it feels that way.  Remember how you felt when your first love broke up with you? Were you devastated?  Crushed?  I know I was.  It's a pretty gut-wrenching experience.  But, lo and behold, life did go on.  And you know what?  It got better.  Were there other loves lost?  Absolutely.  But each one hurt a little less each time.

When a door closes, maybe we should accept that it's closed, be grateful for the experience, let it go and start looking for that open door.  And we should look for it with confidence that it will be there for us.  Because it will.  

"The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it." - Eckhart Tolle

It has taken me a lifetime to understand this concept. Eckhart Tolle is absolutely correct.  It is so easy to allow our thoughts to go to a negative place when we're unhappy.   But we really do control our thoughts and we choose how we react to everything that happens to us in our life.  

That said, I don't think it's healthy to deny our feelings either.  If there is a situation that is causing stress and unhappiness, I think it's important to recognize it, acknowledge it.  During those times, I think it's best not to push yourself.  It's also good to take a lot of baths. There is something healing and soothing about taking a nice, hot bath. It is also important to make sure you are breathing properly.  A therapist once told me to pay attention to my breathing when I'm stressed.  It was always shallow.  She advised me to take 10 really deep breaths when I am stressed to make sure I was getting enough oxygen to my brain.  She said that when we are under stress, we don't realize it but we begin to take shallow breaths.  And the lack of oxygen to our brains makes us feel more stressed.

Try it sometime.  Baths and breathing when you're stressed.  If you try this, I hope you'll let me know how if it helped.  

It doesn't matter where you've been - it matters where you are going!

Dwell not on the past. Use it to illustrate a point, then leave it behind. Nothing really matters except what you do now in this instant of time. From this moment onwards you can be an entirely different person, filled with love and understanding, ready with an outstretched hand, uplifted and positive in every thought and deed. 
~ Author unknown ~

I was having a conversation with a friend about this just yesterday.  We were discussing that no matter how hard we may try to lead good, responsible, spiritual lives, we are human and prone to making mistakes.  Sometimes the best way to know what to do is by knowing what not to do.  And the only way to do that is to make mistakes.  And I use the term "mistakes" very loosely. Maybe a better term for mistake is "missing the mark".  


It doesn't matter where you've been - it matters where you are going.  We all go through difficult times in our lives.  And at those particular moments, we make decisions based on a lot of factors.  Have you ever looked back to a particular time in your life and wondered "who was that person?" You probably wouldn't react the same way now and that's a good thing.  It shows that you've grown.  You've learned something from it.  But you had to go through it to get the lesson. 


Our lives, for the most part, are about cause and effect.  If you want a different life, start making different choices.  Everything that is going on in your life right now is the cumulation of previous decisions and choices you've made.  I am talking about the stuff we have control of.  Of course there are going to be situations that we can't control.  That is different. 


Nothing we go through needs to be wasted.  If you have been through a difficult time and learned from it, you can help someone that is going through a similar experience. When I look back at my darkest times, there was always someone there that had been through a similar experience.  Some of these people are not in my life now. They appeared when I needed them.  And consequently, I have been on the giving end where I've met someone that is going through something I've already been through.  And I've been able to help them. Those moments make it all seem worthwhile.